You Need Not Die Alone

The other day a friend of mine lay to rest his oldest son. I had run into this man at a local store and I had invited him to share a lunch with some former co-workers/friends and I the next day. It was then that he informed me that he was burying his son on that day and time. I expressed my condolences and talked for a short time then parted.

When I returned home, I told my wife about the encounter and said that I wanted to attend graveside burial. What I didn’t know and my friend failed to inform me was that his son had died last November in Florida. They had decided to wait until he and his wife returned home here in Michigan in the spring to burying him.

Maybe his reasoning for not telling me was to spare himself the re-living of how his son had died. I still don’t know what had taken place, but having known his son and some destructive habits that he had acquired I was reasonably sure that I knew and he may have known that I was aware, and left it alone. But I knew that he was not looking forward to the next day and I could see it in his face and his speech. You the reader, must know that he and his son had some fairly rocky history over the years, but still, it was his son and that would never change.

When the day arrived, it arrived with a fury of wind and torrential down pours. As I stood in our living room looking out the window at mid-morning, I begin to question where or not I should go. To myself I question where or not they would attempt this in this terrible weather. My wife, who is very perceptive, said to me, why don’t you just send him a card I believe that that will have just as much meaning as you standing there in the rain and cold plus the card will have a lasting note of sentiment. That pretty much made up my mine and that is what I did. I also had lunch with my friends, but I still had some feelings of guilt.

I wondered how many other families were doing the same for their loved ones where no one showed. I wondered if the deceased was looking down and was sadden that his death didn’t deserve the meager respect that would bring a person or persons to bid him farewell. I hope he knew that at least I was thinking about him, his life and his family on that day. I pray that he knows that to be true. I know that I will not let this opportunity to express my grief at someone’s lost again.

“A good name is better than fine perfume, and the day of death better than the day of birth. It is better to go to a house of mourning than to go to a house of feasting, for death is the destiny of every man; the living should take this to heart.” Ecclesiastes 7:1-2